Pregnant?  Minden, Louisiana - A woman stopped on a traffic stop told police she was pregnant when they became suspicious of a bulge in her stomach. She was arrested for transporting 1.6 kilos of cocaine. 

Robber pays store  Louisiana - A man walked into a convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.  The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.00 

Always look both ways before pulling into traffic... My dad was a gas station manager in the mid eighties. One day after coming home from work he told me about his day. The gas station he worked at has a drive up pay station, meaning you pump your gas and drive up to pay. One day an idiot decided to help himself to some free gas and drive past my dad's window waving his middle finger at him as he drove by. As my dad walked out and tried to get the guy's plate number, the dummy pulled out of the lot without looking and bumped into a sheriff's department cruiser.  My dad happily told the surprised deputy what had taken place (used by permission from dumbcrooks.com). 

A New York man underestimated a woman's determination on a house robbery  A women in Bronx NY came home to find a man who had broken into her apartment was still there.   When she came in, he ran past her and down 5 flights of stairs into the street.  The woman decided she was not going to let the man get away with it and gave chase foot.  When she got to the street a construction worker pointed to a cab which the robber was now sitting in.  The woman pulled the man out of the cab causing his head to get knocked into the door.  As he was pulled out, he decided to try and hit the girl, but she ducked, knocking the man back down.  She told him she didn't want to hurt him, but that he wasn't going anywhere until the police arrived.  The woman held the man there for police and paramedic's who gladly took the suspect into custody (Apparently the man was having trouble breathing due to his asthma and also sustained abrasions from the incident).  Let this be a lesson to some of these low-life thieves...our woman are getting sick of it too!  Sent in by DalKeith.  Thanks!

Man with stolen motorcycle wants police to find "his" stolen property  On Wed, 9 Aug 2000 16:20:52 EDT, Tim wrote: I work as a Kent Police Officer. On 08/04/00 at approx. 2200 hours, I was bicycle patrol in the area of James St. and 1st AVE. A white male riding a motorcycle approached me to tell me his girl friend's bicycle was stolen. I noticed he was not wearing any eye protective gear.  He told me he left it back in the hotel. I asked him for his DOL which  was also left in the hotel. I ran his name and motorcycle plate through WACIC/DOL. The motorcycle came back stolen and he had a local warrant. He was arrested without incident. He claims he did not know the motorcycle was stolen. The ignition was damaged and the bike was "Hot Wired". He went to jail!  Sent in by Tim from The Kent Police Department.  Thanks Tim!

Can't lose those drugs  Miami, Florida:  A man left behind his stash of marijuana when he got out of a cab. A few miles down the road, the cabbie noticed the dope and turned it in to the dispatcher, who called the cops. Later the guy called the cab company to ask if anyone had turned in some "tobacco" that he had left in the cab. The dispatcher told him yes, but that he would have to come down and identify it as his to get it back. He did. Cops busted him after he made the positive ID. 

You can always depend on friends  Topeka, Kansas: A man held up a convenience store. When he discovered there was not much money in the register, he decided to wait on customers for a while to build up a little more cash. His plan failed when one of the clerk's friends came in, became suspicious and called the cops. 

Ticket to jail?  Juan Doe of Pennsauken, New Jersey decided to rob the Hill-Rom Corp, again. However, he needed to keep the door from closing fully behind him, so he used a paper to keep the lock from closing. That paper happens to be a traffic ticket with his name and address on it. Needless to say, this idiot is behind bars. 

Ouch!!!  An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break his former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a rather large hole in his stomach (San Jose Mercury News). 

A born car thief  A man in Virginia Beach, Virginia was charged with auto theft. So he appeared in court on Friday like he was supposed to do. But being so bright, he came in a stolen car. I guess there will be no bail hearing on this one. 

Man tries to get rid of gun  An 18-year-old John Doe, his uncle, and another teenager were walking down the street when they saw police cars approaching from the opposite direction. In an attempt to get rid of the weapon he was carrying, John threw his gun on the ground. Unfortunately for him, upon the impact to the ground the gun went off and shot him in the head. His uncle, drove him to the hospital, but crashed through the emergency doors, injuring a hospital employee. He was arrested for vehicular negligent injury and driving while intoxicated. 

You're kidding right?  A 45 year-old lady was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, the lady later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil. 

One drunk to another.  This story happened here in Flint, Michigan.  My friend (an officer) was working the late shift and responded to an accident.  While investigating, he learned that the girl driving was drunk and had crashed into a parked car.  The passenger in her car was another girl she had just picked up down the road.  That girl (the passenger) was drunk too, and had just crashed her car into another parked car and abandoned it after it would no longer run.  The original girl saw her walking, and offered her a ride as a good Samaritan.  Both females were arrested for OUIL and both of their cars were impounded.

Armed Robbers Caught on Coffee Break.  (7/3/01) KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - A gang of armed robbers was arrested by Malaysian police after their latest victim spotted them sipping drinks near the mobile phone shop they had just raided.  The shop's owner was going to make a police report when he saw the thieves' car at a roadside drink stall.  He called police who surrounded the four robbers and arrested them without any trouble, the Malay Mail afternoon daily reported on Tuesday.  Police say the gang is behind more than 20 cases of motorcycle theft, armed robbery and rape in the Kuala Lumpur area.  In Friday's incident, the thieves held two shop employees at gunpoint and took an unknown number of mobile phones and some cash before making their getaway.  The previous day the gang assaulted a man who tried to resist a robbery.

Man gives license and runs.  This is pretty funny (5/8/01).  A local man is involved in a car accident.  When the police arrive, the man gives his drivers license to the officer, and then literally turns and runs away.  The officer doesn't give chase, but does check him through the computer.  He has no warrants and is a valid driver.  His car is also registered to him and everything is proper.  The officer simply tows the man's car, drives over to his house and issues him a ticket. 

Fake ID not even close  The OPP recently stopped a guy for going 50km/h over the speed limit. When asked for his license, he gave the police someone else's, who looked nothing like the driver. The police then asked for his real license. He gave it to them, and is now charged with speeding and unlawful use of a driver's license.  Sent in by Luke.  Thanks Luke! 

Out of gas?  A carjacker is in custody from Baker, LA partly because he refused to believe his victim's vehicle was out of gas, police say.  The car's owner had pulled into a closed service station late Thursday night because his gas tank was empty. As the 20-year-old car owner tried to figure out what to do, the car was taken at gunpoint.  The victim said the car was out of gas but the carjacker told him to try to start it anyway.  The car started but ran out of gas and stalled down the street while the victim was at a pay phone calling in the robbery.  The gunman took off on foot, in view of an officer who heard the call and saw the suspect get into another car with two other men. 

Police help suspect remember his name by reading it off of his ID in his own pocket.  A few years ago, myself and another officer responded to a vehicle theft in progress complaint. The suspect had just broken into a pickup truck, and stolen a radar detector, and placed it in a stolen bank deposit bag. Also stolen was a wallet with cash and credit cards. The suspect was observed walking from the parking lot with the deposit bag in hand. He approached another vehicle, and was attempting to gain entrance when he saw officers. He sat the bag down of goods by the tire of the vehicle, and began to walk away. We approached him, placed him under arrest, and I searched him incident to lawful arrest. In his right rear pants pocket was the wallet, stolen from the pickup truck. I retrieved the wallet, looking inside. I looked at the driver's, and saw that the picture was not him. Looking at the license, I asked him his name. HE COULDN'T TELL ME! Not to worry, though. In his other rear pants pocket was his wallet containing his picture ID and the BUSINESS CARD OF HIS PROBATION OFFICER! -Sent in by Officer Dave...Thanks Dave! 

Robber accidentally shoots himself  When a robber's .38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it worked.  Back to Main Menu 

Peeping Tom drops in for a visit.  MOUNTAIN HOME, Ark. (according to APB news) -- Three women relaxing at a tanning salon got a nasty surprise when a Peeping Tom tumbled through the ceiling tiles and crashed to the floor, authorities said. 

If I can see my footprints, can they?  In TOPEKA, Kan., police say they caught a homicide suspect within 15 minutes of the shooting by following footprints for a mile and a half through new-fallen snow.  The man, 29, was arrested early Tuesday at a friend's house where he was pretending to be asleep in bed, said a Sergeant for the department, a watch commander with the Topeka Police Department. 

(From my "Yesterday's Shift" page):  Just as I'm getting into my cruiser (at the start of my shift), I hear a Sergeant calling for backup in front of our court house.  I advise radio that I was close and that I would go.  When I arrived, the detective had already arrested a guy who was in a stolen car.  The car was parked right in front of the court house and was a "confirmed" stolen vehicle.  He said he didn't know the car was stolen, which raises two options: either he is really stupid (which I'm leaning toward) or he really didn't know.  Not much else happened in the shift.  I took a few accidents and tried to stay warm.

Hi.  I'm here to bail out my friend  A guy comes into the St.Louis Metropolitan Police Department, Telling the officer working at the front desk he would like to bail out his friend that was arrested earlier. The officer asked the would be good Samaritan to come through the metal detector as he does the detector alarms, the officer asks him to remove the contents of his pocket and place them in the basket the guy fills the basket with misc. including keys a wad of cash a pack of gum and his bag of dope! Hmmm who's going to bail him out?  SLMPD 

Just kick the window!  (My Story) While working 3rd shift one night, I responded to a B & E in progress.  When I arrived, I found a broken front window to a business about 1 foot from the ground.  It wasn't completely shattered, and didn't appear that anyone could have entered it.  While checking the area, we find blood drops leading away from the window.  About a block away, we find our suspect.  He's carrying a VCR and his right leg is now bleeding worse.  When the ambulance arrives, they cut his pant leg off and blood is just pouring out of his leg and he's getting ready to pass out.  You can see the bone and there's about a 6" x 2" gouge that is about 2" thick into his flesh, and it's literally hanging from him by a piece of skin (yuk!).  This guy is rushed to the hospital.  He said when he kicked the window, his foot got stuck so he "yanked" it out.  The VCR was recovered.  The man goes into surgery and he's arrested for B & E.

Man tries to "re-cash" check  (Local Flint Story) A local Flint man was arrested for trying to cash one of his own checks that had already cleared his bank from being "cashed in" by him the first time.  The bank had stamped the check and returned it to him as normal.  He later tried to cash it again, even though it was stamped by the bank.  He was arrested and charged with a felony.

"Just keep walking...I don't think they'll figure it out"  (My Story) On a local Flint call, my partner and I get called to a B & E in progress.  We are very close so we go.  As were driving up the block, we see a man walking toward us who's carrying a 27" TV. He stops, turns around, and begins walking the other way like nothing.  It's about 3:30 in the morning. When we ask him where he's coming from, he says he's "going to get his TV fixed."  About three houses down we find forced entry on a residence and the TV is missing. He's arrested. 

The hitch-hiker  Nashville, TN - A man hitch-hiking offers an off duty officer a bag of crack cocaine for a ride, and gets arrested. 

Dentist gives crooks the finger, LITERALLY!  Jacksonville, FL - A local dentist agreed to have 2 men cut off one of his fingers in an insurance scam.  When it came down to it, the dentist had second thoughts, but the 2 men didn't.  His finger was amputated and the dentist collected, giving the 2 men $45,000.  However, the 2 men later decided they wanted more.  When they did, the dentist went to the police, admitting guilt.

Drunk driver couldn't wait  Pacificia, CA - A drunk driver pulled behind an officer's police car while the officer was arresting somebody.  The man was so drunk, he began blowing his horn and yelling for the officer to move out of the way.  When the officer began talking with him, it was apparent he had way too much to drink and was arrested. 

An urge for pizza gets a bank robber caught  Sharps, FL - A man that robbed a bank got caught after purchasing a pizza with $20 covered in bank color dye.  The pizza employees became suspicious and called police.

Burglary suspect picks wrong place to hide.  On Dec. 11, authorities say, Christopher S. Newsome broke into the county courthouse and stole $25 from the receptionist's desk. He then briefly hid in a closet where a janitor found him, authorities said. When the janitor went to call authorities, Newsome sprinted out of the courthouse, through a parking lot and toward a nearby building.  Unfortunately for Newsome, that building was the county jail. Moments later, the 26-year-old was in handcuffs.  Newsome was charged with burglary, theft, criminal mischief, resisting law enforcement and public intoxication.

Man Jailed Minutes After Release.  After serving eight months in Placer County jail for auto theft and drunken driving, Jessie ***** never got out of the facility's parking lot.  Less than 15 minutes after being given his freedom, the 28 year old Loomis resident was back in jail for allegedly plotting a bank robbery with an undercover officer who met him in the parking lot.
Authorities had learned that Alexander planned to rob a bank within a week of being let out of jail.  Four agencies arranged for an undercover officer to meet with Alexander in the parking lot. Alexander then solicited the undercover officer man's help for a bank robbery.  He was arrested at 6:10 a.m. - just 14 minutes after he'd walked out of jail. Alexander is charged with soliciting another person to commit a felony and is being held on 30,000.00 bail.  Thanks Cheryl for sending this in!

Bank Robber returns to bank to open account.  11/25/01:  A man without principle attracted a lot of interest after he returned to a Queens bank he had robbed to open up a savings account there, police said.  "What a dope!" said one amazed police official, who could barely contain his laughter.  "This guy has to get the jackass of the year award. I guess that's why they call them 'criminals' - they're just sometimes really stupid."  Police say Jack Schreiner, 30, strolled into a Chase Manhattan Bank branch at 84-01 Jamaica Ave. at 10:30 last Monday and handed a teller a note demanding money. The teller complied and surrendered $7,791 in cash.  On Friday, Schreiner returned to the bank at 11:24 a.m. - this time to open up a savings account.  After the manager and teller verified the man was the original bank robber, the police were called and were able to catch their man.

Will the rightful owner of this gun come forward?  A man borrows a friends suitcase to go on a trip. The friend tells him to remember to take his shotgun and six shells out first. He is going to leave from the airport in Colorado Springs CO the next day. The man gets through the security check point the first time, but than goes outside for a cigarette. When he tries to renter the airport they discover that he has a weapon and arrest him. He calls his friend to explain the situation to the police. The man comes to the airport and tells them that it was his gun and his friend forgot to take it out of the suitcase. But the man has a felony conviction and cannot own a firearm. He is arrested and taken to jail.  KBPI radio station, Denver, CO.  Thanks to one of our viewers for sending this in.

Steal a car to make it to court?  Orange County, Virginia- Several years ago, we received a call from a man stating his vehicle had just been stolen from his driveway. He knew who stole it- Michael (Last name witheld), one of his neighbors. Michael was WELL known  to our Sheriff's Office. About 10 minutes later, a civil process deputy passed Michael operating the stolen car and conducted a felony stop. After Michael was in custody, he was asked why he not only stole a car, but one from his neighbor, who could easily identify him. His response? He had to appear on court to answer a Fail to Appear charge and had no other way of getting there. Needless to say, he did make it to court on time, with an arraignment added to his docket.  Thanks to jsnipes for sending this in!

How hard is is to figure out?  A woman (Ms. McKinnon) who married on Aug. 24th to Max Allen will have to wait to consummate the marriage because the vows took place in a Turkish prison just after McKinnon had been sentenced to five years for drug smuggling on her flight back home. She was ready to board her plane in Istanbul and probably would not have been searched except that her several items of body-pierced jewelry set off a metal detector, and authorities found six pounds of heroin strapped to her chest (The Guardian "London", 8-25-00) 

Two boys in stolen car pull up to sobriety checkpoint.  In Berks County (Pa.), police arrested a 16-year-old driver and his 19-year-old passenger in July in Exeter Township when the driver coolly pulled up to a sobriety checkpoint and told officers they were on the way to a party, even though both were obviously intoxicated; the car was littered with empty and open beer cans; and the boys looked much younger than 21 (the drinking age). And two other things: The car had been reported stolen, and in the back seat was a leather satchel containing various license plates, car titles and other motor-vehicle papers (Reading Eagle/Times, 7-30- 00). 

Underage drinkers want police help?  I am a reserve deputy for a sheriff's department in Wisconsin.  One night (10:30 PM) while working at a local car show, I was approached by two teenage boys.  They wanted to know how to win a drawing that was put on by the car show.  I had no idea and I told them so.  Just as they were walking away, I saw that one of the kids had a plastic travel mug with a straw sticking out of it.  Now, it hasn't been that long since I was a teenager.  I asked the kid what he had in the mug.  "Soda" was his answer.  Do you mind if I take a look.  He said go ahead, and he handed me the mug.  I popped the top off.  Hmmm.... it don't smell like soda..... and it don't look like soda.  Why don't you boys follow me.  After consulting with my partner, we decided to just give him a stern warning (He looked like he was going to s#!t a brick in his pants).  How many underage drinkers go looking for the cops?